Its a girl thing!

Thanks to my soon-to-be-five years old daughter, I’m finally posting on my blog after what seems like a million years (please pardon my bihari streak of exaggeration here).This place feels refreshingly familiar as I’m on the verge of multiplying the joy that I experienced today. I have found a  new friend..rather lets put it this way…I have found this newness in an old and dear friend and I can’t wait to tell my world about it. Its my daughter Avi that I’m talking about. She has been the center of my universe ever since I felt that flickering feeling in my tummy for the first time and everyday with her has been special in its own way. Today was one extra special day with her.

I’ve seen my little baby change so much since I held her for the first time but it seems as if in the last one year, she has been in a strange hurry to grow up. The speed with which she grasps and reacts to things, the fluency with which she speaks spanish as I fumble,  the nature of questions she asks, the way she demonstrate her negotiating skills, the naughty twinkle in her eyes, the spring in her steps …all these nuances seem to come alive as she shouts out aloud these days- ‘Mom I’m a Biiiig girl now’! And like an old hag of a mother, at most times I reiterate- ‘No you’re not, but you will be if you eat your veggies everyday’! Ughhh ..motherhood does come with its own set of side effects, the most lethal of them being deterioration in the ability to relax and frequently practice the sense of humour once you were so proud of. Anyway..before I go on some self-centered tangent here, let me get back to the point.  So, though on one hand I do miss my baby daughter, on the other I’ve always been eager for the day when we would connect as grown ups! Maybe its a premature excitement on my part, but today I got a glimpse of that friend that mothers and daughters find in each other as the boundaries of age take a backseat.

We have changed apartments lately and the entire exercise has turned out to be far more herculean than we had preempted or geared up for.  Today was one of those transaction heavy days with plumbers and electricians (and I thought you do not need them in phoren land) making their dutiful rounds at our new home. Incidentally also the third day of B being away on his work trip. I wonder how time and again these absolutely important, make or break sales trips of his happen to neatly coincide with the peak mundane activity packed time of the month. But I think I would need to dedicate an entire post about coincidences of this nature so let me not elaborate further. Basically today was one of those days when the level of exasperation in me was at its highest and patience at the lowest. I badly needed to whine. I tried calling a couple of people who are used to handling me in this mode but fortunately they too were unavailable. I could not control my urge to vent out and ended up rattling out everything to Avi who was sitting next to me on the couch busy colouring. It was one long rant in a complaining tone generously punctuated with uuuff….s and aah…s. I would have spoken for about 8-10 minutes non stop. And guess what…Avi turned out to be THE perfect listener I was looking for. I don’t know how much she understood as I whined about shifting apartments, his dad missing in action, me badly missing family and friends etc etc, but she heard me out with undivided attention, making the right uhmmm…hmmm… sounds and said comforting things like – ‘It’ll be okay mom…relax!’ …’you know know we are soon going to India’ – and to top it all came up with a fun idea for rest of the evening. She began with her favourite one liner and said- ‘I have an ideeeeaaa..how about..(pause)..we have some cheese spaghetti and soda and watch the new Pinocchio DVD…hehehehe. We hugged each other. A much-needed, nice, tight, warm hug. I was overwhelmed. It was the first time that there was a plan involving my daughter n I where all I needed to do was to follow her..no changes (except a soda-wine exchange :D), no rearrangements, no reminders about ‘we can’t do this at this time’ ‘we’ll do this when you’re a big girl’ etc. Just toss some spashetti in olive oil, garlic, salt n pepper,sprinkle Parmesan oh-so-generously, slip in the DVD, jump on the couch, put your feet up and sluuurp! 🙂

This is a milestone for me…my daughter gets me…she gets me the way girls get each other…she’s not groping for solutions all the time and knows the art of listening without interrupting…she has comforting things to say at the right places and to top it all she comes up with an instant fun plan to beat the stress. This is what girl friends do to you. Therapy of the most sublime kind. I called B later in the day and told him that I finally found someone I can talk to and whine with whenever I want to while he’s away on his well-timed work trips. I suddenly found him more attentive than he usually is in a conversation like this. He complained about how pricey Avi has been acting with him off late and worried if he would be able to enjoy this sort of interaction with her in future. I pounced upon this opportunity to drive home another point that I realise I make more often than tea these days. I told him in that put-your-act-together tone of mine- ‘I’m sure you will, you just need to spend a little more quality time (my favourite word after becoming a mom) with her’. I don’t know how convincing I sounded as I said this because in my heart of hearts I knew that he is going to take a real long time…after all, it’s a girl thing!

Avi Spaghetti 032

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8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Rajiv said,

    M gladdened to witness the transformation in Avi through ur words. Though this transformation is at a very nascent stage, it can give u a vision of how things gonna be in the future..
    and yes.. congrats on breaking this hiatus.. u rocked on ur return..

  2. 2

    lilmorethanamommy said,

    Thx Raja! Wait till you see Avi..I wonder this Jan she’ll turn 5 or 15. 😀

  3. 3

    Meraj said,

    ‘quality time’ is another girl/women phrase and not just a mom-phrase 🙂

    and Avi is very pretty!

    • 4

      lilmorethanamommy said,

      Bibhu would agree with you on this one 🙂
      Avi is a brat of the first order. Im at Ranchi these days with parents and they can’t seem to get enough of her.

  4. 5

    Ambica said,

    It really IS a ‘girl thing’!!!! Loved your post – specially in light of the fact that you’re in town, and we’ve all spent some time re-discovering how important we girlfriends are to one another!!! And your post reminded me of my own PATTAKA (as Bibhu calls her;-) and how i hope i’ll walk down a similar lane 4 years from now, with her!!!!

    • 6

      lilmorethanamommy said,

      of course you will..and we’re going to have a million new things to talk about(not that there is any dearth right now)!

  5. 7

    Namas said,

    or may be he never would..coz after all it ‘s a girl thing!!enjoyed goin thru ur post….hope u continue creating magic with ur key board….love..

  6. 8

    ritu said,

    This is so true… she’s not groping for solutions all the time and knows the art of listening without interrupting.. It’s so needed on truly hard days and you guys will help each other out.. 🙂


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