It was the first time for me. I watched a movie at a theatre in Panama with a hint of India in it. It took me thru this whole gamut of emotions that I experienced for the first time. These emotions had been playing hide n seek with me in the last six months of my stay in this alien land but the intensity with which they came over as I walked out of the theatre was almost frightening.

Though Slumdog Millionaire largely shows a part of India that I have not experienced very closely, but still it managed to take me back to those crowded streets of Mumbai sitting in an auto rickshaw. The movie was largely in english but  the slightest trace of  hindi made me jump up and smile ear to ear. The music score and songs stirred up some recessive corners of my heart.  I walked out of the theatre after the end credits and the Jai Ho song with brimming eyes that hungrily searched for a trace of the familiar.  Instead, all they could see was the alien chaos. Blonde women, spanish signages,  food stalls with no samosas, no sign of a churidar kurta clad girl, not a word of hindi from anywhere.

 The strong air conditioning blended perfectly with the cold feeling that had begun to set  in. Suddenly it struck me. The whole patriotic spiel that I had been fed on over the years rang in my ears blocking out every other noise. They were the same words that I had heard umpteen times while attending those Independence and Republic day functions at school and while overhearing the blaring television at home. The words, that always hovered around my ears but never managed to make their way to my heart, suddenly presented themselves in their full glory. I felt it for the first time. I felt Indian.


7 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Saman said,

    Hey babal,,that was a moving post..brought tears to my eyes..clearly describes the sense of alienation that one feels in an alien land…waise u r doing gr8 job with this blog..keep it up honey!!

  2. 2

    Meraj said,

    hi Aditi,

    thanks to Saman, i went through some of the stuff that you are writing….appreciated and enjoyed them.

    keep writing!


  3. 3

    lilmorethanamommy said,

    Thanks Saman! There are times when the distance from your homeland hits you. This piece was a result of one of those overwhelming moments.

  4. 4

    lilmorethanamommy said,

    Thanks Shomu bhaiya! Your feedback means a lot to me.

  5. 5

    Rajiv said,

    I haven’t read the complete blog of yours.. but was so compelled to write something midway that I couldn’t stop..
    I don’t know but can only imagine and wonder how listening to a hindi dialogue or witnessing vast crowds can be alien.. Solitude and calmness are supremely important but at the same time suddenly you start missing all those noises you were too used to hear… Strange are the ways of world!

  6. 6

    Rajiv said,

    And this is my view after reading the whole article..

    I don’t know but I was always unable to ascertain whether the feelings that are expressed in/via movies like naam (u must remember chitthi aayi hai) are there in the real life also..

    Today u resolved my doubt.

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